I listen to "Sphere of InnocenceBy Allan Holdsworth, the tears find their way down my cheeks - Allan's music, this song in particular, touches my soul so deeply. Somewhere where I allow few people to go, maybe no one. Only I myself may take a look every now and then, I allow myself to go in and feel so deeply. Who I am, what I want to convey, my light and love. My vulnerability and sensitivity. You may recognize this yourself; that it doesn't matter much that someone else doesn't know you completely, but do you allow yourself to really know yourself?
Is sensitivity a weakness?
I am now 45 years old and I still get to know myself every day, although a nice movement recently started. The whole understanding of High Sensitivity, hsp-being has never been strange to me, but I always led the subject of mediumship. But high sensitivity does not necessarily have anything to do with that. You can be highly sensitive and not a medium, but a medium is usually highly sensitive. Mediumship was tangible to me, and it became because of the many consultations, but the idea of 'being highly sensitive' always remained in the shadows. I saw that more as a weakness. You may also recognize this yourself that you then go back to what others said to you or about you; just do it, don't be so hypersensitive, come on you are one …… and go on.
Lower your defense
You can already see what happens; you mirror others! This is why transactional analysis such a powerful method is because it looks at the different roles you play. Maybe you treat yourself like your father or mother and you hear that little voice in the back of your mind telling you what to do and how to feel. Isn't it time to admit who you really are? This is not an easy process I can tell you. Because all those layers and behaviors that you are so familiar with may be just to defend and protect your own vulnerability and sensitivity. But does this behavior still serve you?
What do you want and what do you need?
Easier said than done! To discover what you want you have to dig deep into yourself, as I often do with music. I pick up my guitar or listen to artists that touch me deeply. It is not about why, but simply that it happens! You can be touched by the blue sky, a cloud, a flower, a butterfly etc .. Because when you are hit, you come into contact with your vulnerability and that is what is needed to recognize what you need in life . You can then quietly listen to your own needs and use your sensitivity to feel what is right for you.
Make sure you feel safe
If you are highly sensitive, this is quite a challenge. Not only do you feel everything more intensively, it therefore also seems as if the wall you are allowed to let things make is heavier and thicker than for others. The reward is great, but it also requires a lot from you because your sensitivity puts everything you feel under a magnifying glass. So no! You don't volunteer! I can't explain that I have to cry for a Holdsworth song that I've heard so many times; but that is not necessary. That song is like a key that opens a door to myself, my deepest inner being. The music gives me safety and so you can find out what is safe for you to go inside.
Let your sensitivity determine direction
At times like this I always wonder; I couldn't always be so vulnerable, so open to life. I would prefer wholeheartedlyja'want to answer, but then there is also a bit of fear that rises. Because high sensitivity also means that you are an exception to the rule; you are literally different from the 80% of the population that it is not. The masses do not know what it is like to be highly sensitive and therefore also consider; If you already have trouble being yourself, how should they handle it? My sensitivity is therefore also a compass to give direction to my destination, to those moments when I can be myself.
Sometimes that is with music, but more and more often with people and even animals that do feel and give me space so that I can be myself. Because high sensitivity is a creative force, an empathy and imagination that knows no boundaries. Therefore, show it where it is appreciated and be careful that others don't roll over it with rude behavior or stupid remarks. You can be there and your sensitivity can get a place in your life!